What to Do When Your Baby Won’t Nap
Help, my baby won’t nap!
It’s exhausting and frustrating when your baby won’t nap, no matter what you do. We’ll cover the most common reasons this happens and how to fix each so you can resolve nap struggles for good.
If you’re really desperate and just need to know what to do right now, I have a whole section on that at the end.
Why Your Baby Won’t Nap (and what to do about it)
Sleep Associations
If your baby relies fully on you for sleep, you may have an assortment of nap tricks that work sometimes, but not at all other times. Especially as they get older, babies with more sensitive sensory profiles can struggle to fall asleep with your help or while out and about, because the sensory input that can be too stimulating.
The best way to solve this is teaching your baby to fall asleep without sleep associations that aren’t sustainable for you. Many people associate teaching independent sleep skills with leaving babies to cry it out, but there are compassionate ways to teach babies to fall asleep on their own (more on that later).
Being Overtired or Undertired
If your baby becomes overtired, stress hormones flood their system, making it harder for them to fall asleep. Being undertired can also cause nap struggles. Boredom and overstimulation can easily be mistaken for sleepiness, which can lead to you trying to put your baby down before they're ready.
It’s best to follow age-appropriate wake windows rather than sleep cues after the newborn period.
Nap Environment and Routine
A changing nap environment can be overstimulating and confusing. The ideal nap environment is the same place they sleep at night, dark, and cool. Blackout curtains and white noise help block out disruptive light and sound.
Establishing a consistent nap routine serves as a signal to your baby’s brain and body that it’s time to prepare for sleep. Nap routines can be short and simple, like changing their diaper, putting them in comfortable clothes for sleeping, and reading a book. If you use a sleep sack or lovey at night, use them in your nap routine too.
Separation Anxiety
This starts around 7 or 8 months, and can come and go until around 2 years. If your baby gets distressed when they can’t see you, is more clingy, and starts having trouble with naps and bedtime, they may be feeling separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is normal, because attachment serves an important function in human development.
Spend lots of quality time with your baby, not just playing, but also being emotionally present and attuned, and doing normal life together. Being part of your world, like chores and errands, helps babies feel a sense of safety and belonging. Offer extra comfort and snuggles before laying your baby down. Often, babies with independent sleep skills have an easier time with separation anxiety at sleep times.
Nap Transition
When babies are ready to drop a nap, they’ll fight naps, especially the last one. You’ll notice their naps getting shorter and have more difficulty getting them to sleep. Some parents worry that their baby won’t get enough sleep with fewer naps, but they actually sleep better after dropping a nap they no longer need.
Stretch your baby’s wake windows in 15 minute increments during nap transitions. If necessary, move bedtime up a bit while they adjust to the new schedule.
Development
When babies learn a new skill, they need to practice A LOT. They’re forming new neural connections and creating muscle memory they’ll use the rest of their life. This is important work, and it can make it hard for them to wind down to sleep.
Give lots of time for physical activity and practice. Stay patient, and remember it’s developmentally appropriate. It will also be short-lived, as long as you maintain consistency around sleep and don’t introduce new sleep associations. They’ll probably take longer naps to catch up on sleep after they master the milestone.
What You Can Do Right Now
If your baby is fighting a nap as you read this, you obviously don’t have time to change your whole schedule or sleep environment. But there are some things you can do:
Take a Break
Some parents feel pressure because they’re anxious about baby becoming even more overtired, but if it’s just not working, it’s ok to stop trying and come back to it later.
Go Outside
Being outdoors is often the easiest way to settle a grumpy baby. It can also help settle your nerves. Go for a walk, sit in the grass, lay in a hammock, whatever is available to you.
Take a Bath
If going outdoors isn’t possible, the next best thing is water. A warm bath can soothe a tired, fussy baby, especially if they’re overstimulated.
Safety First
If you’re really overwhelmed and start to feel frustrated, you’re allowed to take a moment. Put your baby in a safe place, step away to calm down before getting to your breaking point, and come back when you’re feeling more settled.
Try Again
After about 20 minutes, try for a nap again.
Summary
Teach indpendent sleep skills. Use a responsive method that suits your baby’s age and temperament to teach indpendent sleep skills. If you don’t know where to start, I can help! Check out my custom sleep packages.
Pay attention to wake windows. Keep age-appropriate wake windows to prevent your baby from being overtired or undertired before naps.
Create a comfortable nap environment. Use blackout curtains and white noise. Keep the room cool, and dress your baby in comfortable clothes for sleeping.
Establish a routine. The perfect nap routine is short, simple, and consistent.
Address separation anxiety. Spending lots of quality time with your baby can soothe naptime struggles caused by separation anxiety.
Give lots of time to practice milestones. Let your baby practice new moves often, especially big milestones like sitting, crawling, standing, or walking.
Look for signs of a nap transition. Pay attention for signs that they’re ready to drop a nap. Stretch wake windows slowly to help them adjust.
